Reasons, Seasons and Lifetimes

Growing up I had (and lost) a lot of friends. I was so eager to please the people in my life (especially during my insecure and impressionable teen years) that I often laid down my morals and muted my voice in order to be accepted by my peers.  I was so afraid of being my authentic self that I completely lost touch with who the real ‘Windy’ even was. As a result, I surrounded myself with mirrors (as my mom calls them), people who reflect back to me an aspect of myself that I need to be shown. Needless to say a lot of my friends were untrustworthy, dishonest and inauthentic – all aspects of my teenage self that I didn’t like, let alone aknowledge were a part of me.

Sometimes it took months, even years, but eventually the inevitable would happen and I would get friend-dumped. Being a teenage girl was hard enough; having a rotating door of inauthentic and sometimes abusive ‘friends’ was torture.

During one of these heartbreaking friendship breakups, my mom once said to me that there are three types of people/relationships in life. Reasons, Seasons and Lifetimes.

At the time I didn’t comprehend just how true this statement is. In my mind there were three categories, sure, but they were ‘best friends, friends and I hate her.’ Now, as a young(ish) woman, I get it. Let me share with you what I think she meant.

These are the people who intersect our life lines for a reason – and usually that reason is to teach us (and subsequently teach them) a lesson or show us something about ourselves we need to be shown. Whether it be with a coworker by the coffee maker or the guy who flips you the finger in the IKEA parking lot, EVERY interaction, no matter how big or small, happens for a reason. Ask yourself what that reason is.

Longer than a brief interaction, but equally as important, are the Season relationships and people in our lives. Sometimes they’re a friend, partner or husband/wife, but no matter their method of delivery, these people are intended to stick around and see us through a time or lesson in our life that requires a little guidance, support or partnership. It may be months or years, but these people are here for us through the times when we need them, and leave our lives in the same manner they came – in perfectly Divine timing.

The Lifetime relationships are an entirely different category in themselves. Depending on your belief system and how you perceive our roles here on earth, Lifetime relationships are ongoing and evolving, changing with us as we grow and develop. Lifetime relationships may be with friends or family; those with whom we have soul contracts to help one another fulfill a greater goal and accomplishment during our time here on earth. These relationships may be few and far between, but they are sacred and should be cherished.

Now as an adult who still often struggles with making and maintaining authentic friendships, I frequently ask myself what role(s) the current people in my life play, and what aspect of myself they are reflecting back to me. It’s a refreshing way to look at the people we surround ourselves with and feels good to know that we all serve a purpose in one another’s lives. So, the next time you find yourself wondering about the people in your life and the type (or purpose of) the relationships you have with them, ask yourself if they’re a Reason, Season or Lifetime… and be open to and thankful for whatever they’re here to teach you.

Windy May