My whole life I’ve had this habit of attaching myself to the outcome of things. Whether it’s a test score, a potential client deal, our home renovations or daily cash flow… I obsess over how something will turn out to a point where it becomes a hinderance to my happiness and productivity. Maybe it’s a control issue and my inability to cope with uncertainty, but I’ve never been okay with letting the chips fall where they may – I feel like I need to ‘mentally prepare myself’ (this is the story I tell myself) for whatever may happen.
Just recently, I was rather hard on myself for not achieving a professional goal I had set for myself. I had tried to take on a new role within our company and wasn’t nearly as successful at it as I had hoped I would be. Without getting into details, I failed miserably and got VERY upset with myself for it. I ranted and swore and called my mother to vent some more. She talked through the process with me and proposed a few reasons as to why things didn’t work out the way I had expected and one of her suggestions was this… I was too attached to the outcome.
At first I didn’t get it. I mean, who isn’t attached to the outcome of things…. but then I realized that there’s a difference between being attached to the outcome, and open to the possibilities of the outcome.
Once I made this connection and starting putting it into practice in my daily routine in little ways, it all made sense. Things that I would usually stress about or cause me frustration became… easier. My overall anxiety and stress levels have become generally lower. By putting my intentions out there to the universe and allowing myself to be open to how things would unravel, everything just started to click. Clients that we didn’t close were no longer ‘lost deals’ or revenue, but were never our clients to begin with. Instead of being frazzled about failure, I began to accept these ‘failed’ deals as blessings… after all, there’s usually a bigger and better reason working in the background as to why it wasn’t meant to be. I suppose a large part of this is a change in perspective too… rather than seeing things through the lens of a victim of life, start looking for the lesson, bigger picture and reasoning for things. It’s much more empowering.
Now, let me be clear, this isn’t about taking a lazy approach to life and allowing things to happen to and around you with no accountability. It’s bigger than that… and in some ways harder. It’s about being an active participant in your own life and owning the outcomes of your decisions and circumstances with grace, openness and a willingness to learn.
The best example of this is looking back on past experiences and people (both personally and professionally)… and realizing that sometimes it’s not that things ‘didn’t work out’, it’s that things were not meant to work out at that time or, better yet, that I can identify them as Reasons, Seasons or Lifetimes and move on with confidence and assurance that everything is as it should be.
As your confidence in the ‘universe will provide all in divine timing’ approach strengthens, you can then learn to start making decisions based on that confidence (or trust or faith). I’m not a huge advocate for the ‘Secret’ and have my reservations about most people’s interpretation of the Law of Attraction – but it’s fundamentally true. When you trust and intend for things to happen in the best way possible (and that’s the key phrase right there) – and stop being attached to the outcome – you might just be amazed by what you’ll find.